I Survived.

In a few short hours, we’re heading to the airport to pick up Clay. The three weeks passed quicker than I thought they would. Isn’t that the story of motherhood?. I couldn’t have done without our families. My sister-in-law Meredith, mother-in-law Judy, my mom, my brother and his fiance, Kelly, all came to visit at some point during my first solo parenting adventure to lend a helping hand. And my sister, Megan, made it as far as the Philadelphia airport before Hurricane Ida cancelled her flight. One of the things that tickles me most is knowing that Weston will grow up with an extended family that loves him and will provide him comfort and support.  Isn’t family wonderful? 

I learned a lot on my own. What better way to document than a list?

• Swaddling is genius. Pure genius. Who says Weston needs use of his arms?
• I don’t know how Heidi Klum is able to walk the Victoria Secret fashion show 6 weeks after giving birth. I have lost weight but let’s not talk about what needs to be toned…I am beyond fearful of having a ‘mom’ body. : )
• Healthy Choice meals are pretty terrible. Is it cardboard? Nope, it is salisbury steak. Yummy? 
• Technology is amazing. Thanks to the wonders of digital photography, Clay will be able to see how much Weston has grown over the past 21 days.
• Roseanne reruns on TV Land get me through the middle of the night feedings. Oh that Jackie.
• Lucy is a wonderful big sister. She does not rest until she knows that Weston is safe and comfortable.

The number one thing I have learned? That I can do this. I will make it through the deployment just fine. 2010 will be a good year.

I Cried This Morning

My routine has changed with the introduction of Weston. I used to get up feeling rested, brew a pot of coffee using two hands, and sit down to read the gibillion blogs I have bookmarked. I now wake up wanting more sleep, brew a pot of coffee only if I remember, and try to read said blogs whenever I get a free moment. I am tired.  It is during these periods of exhaustion that I sometimes forget just how lucky I am to have the opportunity to experience Weston and all of the trials and tribulations that accompany motherhood.

In fact, it was while reading a post on another military wife blog that I realized how soon I forgot about Sara Sullivan. I first learned of her passing on an online message board I frequent. A lovely military couple, her suffering from breast cancer. She died shortly after giving birth to their daughter. It was while combing through The Sullivan’s archives that I learned of Katie Friedman, a mom who died during the birth of her second child. Glance at my blogroll and you will find the blog of Matt, Liz, and Madeline. Matt chronicles his experience as a single father, raising his daughter alone after his beloved wife died after an emergency c-section. Sarah, Katie, and Liz are not experiencing their children the way I get to hold, kiss, and cuddle Weston. Rather, they’re watching from above, loving their children in ways that are not of this world and unknown to me. Along with the mothers who pass too soon, there are millions of women suffering from infertility, desperately wanting a child of their own. And here I am, one of the lucky ones.

Life is not fair. I first began to cry due to frustration and exhaustion. Weston was crying and I didn’t know how to help him. After revisiting the stories above, I continued to cry for the opportunity and the gift of my son. It is so easy to get wrapped up in not-so-pleasant aspects of caring for a newborn (I know I am guilty). Every so often I need a reminder of just how lucky I am.

Growing Boy

29 days old. Can you believe it? I can’t.